Los Angeles-based writer for LAist.comSeriousEats.com and KCET.org. Indie improv showrunner and performer. Email me and we can be best friends forever.


Posts tagged rap


Video

Jan 30, 2013
@ 9:41 am
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14 notes

ryanrosenblog:

thisismattreid:

The first music video shot and produced by Matt Reid himself

Danny Cohen is something special. Not sure what, but something.

"It’s the year 3000, the future of love / Everybody knows that what we’re doing requires gloves"


Text

Aug 22, 2012
@ 11:56 pm
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3 notes

Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car #9

I live that upper deck life, your whole career’s in the crapper,

I’m hip hop’s Haley Joel Osment, all I see is dead rappers. 


Text

Aug 6, 2012
@ 9:19 am
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Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car #8

Back again, so let’s make this a classic, too.

I’ll push your wig back like Vidal Sassoon

Mix your brain bits up with your dandruff shampoo,

You love ridin’ dick so much, you walk around hummin’ the Just For Men tune.


Text

Jul 24, 2012
@ 12:03 am
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Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car #7

This one is sorta grooooooss.


You say I’m real ‘cocky’ & I guess that’s true,

I got a 12-inch horse & he likes to spit glue.

I’ll get you all sticky & your girlfriend too,

On that Ménage à shit, I’m like “Nicki who?” 


Text

Jul 18, 2012
@ 3:32 pm
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4 notes

Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car #6

I’m a day dream believer

Your girl’s cream dream achiever

Cuz my growing gives her pains

Like you should call me Ben Seaver. 


Text

May 28, 2012
@ 5:50 am
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1 note

Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car - #5

Probably my favorite verse I’ve come up with yet…



I’mma stop you right there & beat you to every single punch,

Yeah I’m a big motherfucker, I had a lot for lunch

But I’mma go out on a limb & this is just a hunch

If you made what I made, you’d be meetin’ me for brunch.

But you ain’t stackin’ cheddar, you ain’t got no lettuce,

You never had dough so you ain’t makin’ bread, kid.

Meanwhile I stay on that breakfast,

You’re eatin’ milk bones for dinner.

Musta put a curse on your raps, cuz that shit keeps gettin’ Thinner….


Text

May 12, 2012
@ 12:38 pm
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1 note

Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car - #4

My shit stays classic, like it’s Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out,

Got you runnin’ so scared you’re about to toss your lunch out,

Cuz I’ll box your whole family, like Mr. Brady in the Bunch house.


Text

Apr 14, 2012
@ 9:33 am
Permalink
1 note

Rap Lines I Come Up With In My Car - #3

Make me the villain of this rap game, I’ll gladly have it,

I keep more pussy on my lap than the dude from Inspector Gadget.

Or call me Doc Ock, I’m a scientist here,

Homie, you are not hot, and the signs are clear,

You can’t rap for shit and you can’t stay on beat, so

I’m here to take all the medals, call me Magneto.