I will remember (and laugh) at this scene for the rest of my life.
KRAMER: Oh, YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.
JERRY: Well, I didn’t want her to have an accident.
GEORGE: What accident?
KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
GEORGE: That’s unbelievable!
KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
GEORGE: You ran?
KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, “I got a toe here, buddy - step on it.”
GEORGE: Holy cow!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, “Where do you think you’re going, Cracker Jack?” I said, “Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - ” <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!
GEORGE: How could you do that?!
KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,’ because the driver, he’s passed out from all the commotion…the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I’m drivin’ the bus.
GEORGE: You’re Batman.
KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin’ me! So I’m fightin’ him off with one hand and I kept drivin’ the bus with the other, y’know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
JERRY: You kept makin’ all the stops?
KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin’ the bell!
(via The Fire)
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